Single Loneliness – Is It Getting To You Too ? What If So ?

loneliness single

Single Loneliness – Is It Getting To You Too?

Single loneliness. You have no idea how many women in the world experience loneliness. Loneliness is difficult, that’s more than certain. Many of my clients and readers complain about it. I perfectly understand the seriousness of the problem. They say loneliness is sad. Worse, it often causes feelings of shame and mismatch. When you are the only friend you once shared your time with and who are busy with their relationship, baby and new responsibilities today, you can easily conclude that there is something wrong with us. You can get a similar impression when you experience loneliness among people. Thousands of virtual friendships that make an artificial crowd and only a few people you can count on, whom you can call, for whom you are important and who find time. It’s hard not to feel bad. Loneliness is also harmful – just like smoking, it simply shortens your life.

Shame and disgrace

As I mentioned, loneliness is embarrassing, because for many people to say it out loud, it means admitting defeat. This would be a confirmation that they do not match. And yet everything outside is perfectly fine. The feeling that it is impossible or inappropriate to talk about your emotions deepens the loneliness even more. It also results from the fear of being judged, ridiculed or misunderstood. I know many successful women who are perceived by those around them as fulfilled and happy. People who envy their lives. They, however, feel lonely, often in relationships, but do not give up on them for fear of being “literally” alone. Women think they don’t deserve love, aren’t interesting, they’re not attractive, they’re not good enough. Longing for closeness and tenderness, which one cannot find among friends or family – loneliness grows stronger. It crushes, suffocates, tires, makes you feel bad. It causes emotional pain [weaker or crushing].

Single women are not allowed

A person may feel incomplete and not fitting into the patterns. But when it turns out that certain activities are reserved only for couples, it gets even more unpleasant. Apart from loneliness, one also experiences exclusion. I admit – it’s an explosive mixture of negative experiences. Often when I mention the negative effects of loneliness, I hear indignant voices – it is enough to love yourself, take care of yourself, etc. If problems were resolved in such a way that at the snap of a finger they would cease to exist, there would not be a single unhappy person in the world. I assure you.

It’s time for you

At the beginning of our lives, things are easy, simple and fun. It is the parents who make sure that they find us some company and take care of the proper socialization process. We go to kindergarten, school, and university, one by one, and new opportunities appear all the time. Of course, this is not always the case – it also happens that for some reason children who have been excluded by the peer group may feel lonely. We are then exposed to it even more than in adult life, when it is “easier” to deal with it. Most often, after graduation, opportunities to meet new people are less frequent.

New faces no longer revolve around us like free atoms. If someone is lucky and work gives him the opportunity to constantly be in new places and establish new relationships – great. Often, however, it is quite the opposite. The new faces from work, just a moment ago, are becoming the well-known ones. This is first. Secondly, each group has its own rules, and one of the primates and readily respected is the admission for people in relationships. One cannot fail to mention “weekends only for us”, New Years Eve, weddings, banquets, holiday trips or family gatherings, where loneliness is covered under a solid mask, pretending that everything is fine. Accepting comments that “everyone is here” and “It’s time for you!” does not help. Definitely.

A drowning single

It is sad, I know, and I feel rebellion when I write that it is so, but there is no point in distorting reality. People are crumbling, and the daily routine seems exhausting because it does not create any new opportunities. Fear joins loneliness. Sometimes gentle, sometimes paralyzing. You can feel breath on your back and the clock ticking louder. Questions appear in the head: “and if this is always the case, then what?” Further, if this couple is left free, they begin to sink. Sometimes it is in tears and bitterness. However, she carefully hides all these feelings within herself, trying to play her little show in front of the world every day, with an apparently contented actress in the lead role.

Knock Knock…

Before loneliness has time to intensify, it occurs much less frequently. At first it falls in spontaneously, then more often, and consequently, unnoticed and unnamed, it settles permanently. It is important to notice what is happening in time. It is important to be able to handle it properly, no matter if it is small or huge.

What to do with it?

There are two things you can do with loneliness. You can let it settle in, take away the joy and willingness to act. Believing that you are “not” what you should be and stay in this belief .. Then he begins to dominate over a person and slams many doors in front of his face, so I wholeheartedly do not recommend this solution. It leads to doubt, loss of self-esteem and great sadness. You can also tame it and take the lead in this seemingly very uneven struggle. Yes this is possible. Many women doubt this. They say they have no idea what to do with it. A relationship seems to be salvation, lowering expectations – is it right? Is there a method in this madness? Or maybe you can escape from it? Or kill her with something?

 

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