This is one of the sentences I hear most often from women. Have you ever thought, “God! Why do I feel lonely? Or are you scared of the thought that if you let someone go free and let them go, you would face a feeling of loneliness? If so, this text is definitely for you.
In the 21st century, loneliness is defined a bit differently than it used to be. I know, times change, and so do our imaginations – but if so. Women who tell me about their loneliness, when asked what it really is, suspend their voices, look at the ceiling and… are unable to answer the question. It turns out that they feel lonely when someone does not call, does not remember about them, does not spend time with them. That someone is very often a man who appeared in their lives. One man! So I ask timidly – what about the rest?
The relationship won’t change much
A relationship is nothing more than doing what you have done so far, just the two of you. Extremely often we have unrealistic expectations towards another person who is to appear in our lives, organize them from A to Z, make them colorful and colorful, and thus make us feel happy with ourselves. It sounds illogical to say the least, because how can someone make us feel good about ourselves? By approaching a relationship in this way, from the very beginning, we doom ourselves to failure – if this person disappears from our life, there is a great void that we do not know how to fill. There is a lot of talk about the fact that to create a successful relationship you have to have your own life. It has become something like a well-worn slogan that we humbly take for granted. And with this acknowledgment it ends, although it would still be appropriate to put the words into action.
Also read the article: Single Loneliness – Is It Getting To You Too ? What If So ?
You must have an interesting life – maybe a parachute jump?
In an artificially created reality, mundane matters and activities seem bland to say the least. Many people believe that in order for life to be interesting on Monday, you should jump on a parachute. And on Tuesday, a spontaneous flight to Barcelona. Roll sushi on Wednesday, run a marathon on Thursday. And at the weekend, partying until the morning with laughing, successful people. A beautiful vision. It is a pity that it is completely detached from reality. A vision thanks to which more and more people cannot see what is cool in their everyday life. What is interesting and valuable. “To have your life” is nothing more than being able to spend time as you want to.
Do things, even trivial ones, that make time pass nice. No complaints that they are inconsistent with the standards that someone said somewhere, but in fact, it does not meet them. It is also nothing more than accepting that my life is what I want and that I am responsible for what it looks like. No one else. No one is responsible for organizing your time and no one is responsible for how you see yourself. When you relate to this expectation, you quickly become a burden. But you also have a good chance of feeling tormented by the realization that your happiness and well-being depends on someone else.
What to do?
First, distinguish between loneliness and longing for closeness. Second, start to see the people around you that we often forget. Is it not fair to talk about loneliness when you have those who are willing to spend time with you? Do they take care of you, listen, talk, remember about moments that are important to you and participate in them with pleasure? The ones you can rely on? Those who like and love you? Simply, people for whom you are important and valuable, no matter what you do sometimes?
In a world where quantity and not quality govern, we often forget it. We believe that the lack of one link affects everything around us, depriving everything of meaning and meaning. We do it ourselves! So, before the next time you sit and look at the silent phone, you think, “I’m so lonely”… Think if one person really can make you feel like this? Ask yourself how did it happen that you feel lonely in the company of someone with whom you will be associated for the rest of your life – you.
Learn to be happy with yourself.
Learn to be interesting to yourself, then you will be interesting to other people.
Additionally, learn to spend time with yourself, to feel good about yourself.
This is the strongest and most enduring foundation of any relationship you will create, because only having a valuable companion in you will not be condemned to relationships whose only value is that they deprive you of the fear of being left alone with yourself again.
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