Learn what to do after breakup. The most important information.
Yes, definitely – knowing how to pick up after a breakup is a real art. The only exception are situations in which you make the decision because you have already reached your limits or you simply did not feel anything. While in the first case I would doubt whether it really does “it does nothing to you” emotionally, in the second I am inclined to believe it. What an enlightened state – not to feel emotions, especially the difficult ones!
It’s actually no fun
Unfortunately, in most of the cases I know, recovering from a loss is not a rose road – except with thorny stems without petals. It’s a time when the mind produces an absolutely unimaginable number of questions and a person wastes a lot of energy searching for answers that they probably won’t find anyway. Why? Because he is following the wrong path and tries at all costs to understand the motivation of the other party instead of focusing on himself and what is currently happening to him.
What a holy indignation !
Hundreds, thousands, and maybe a million women a day make exactly the same mistakes, condemning themselves to additional unpleasant experiences. In many cases, it definitely hampers their “recovery process” and, above all, often prevents them from taking advantage of the breakup. Yes, at this point my clients often look at me hostile and ask: “benefits ?! What is the benefit of breaking up? ” Well, you can, but first you have to create such an opportunity. How? Avoiding basic mistakes. What kind? Please answer below.
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What’s in someone’s head ?
Admit it – how much time a day do you spend wondering what the author meant, why did he act the way he did, why did he put it in such words, why did he say something to me at that moment and why in that tone? Ah, maybe it had to do with something or someone? What if? What if? Disappoint you. You will never know. Many women say they need answers to specific questions that bother them in order to have peace of mind and be able to move on. Unfortunately – it doesn’t look like that.
First of all, they will certainly not answer themselves, because only the person to whom they are actually directed knows them. Second: even if she does give an answer, the question will still arise as to whether the answer is really honest. And the spiral winds up again. You can go to the trouble and rewind it every day, or you can do something for yourself and instead of wondering what’s in his head, look at yourself and see what is happening to you. Are you sad Or maybe bad? What exactly triggers these emotions in you? Maybe you feel fear? If so, what are you afraid of?
Scratching and sprinkling
Extremely often used practice of constantly exposing yourself to negative stimuli. Follow social media, ask friends, show up where you probably meet, although it could have been avoided. For what? Do you really deserve to make it hurt even more? What have you done to yourself that you want to add to instead of saving yourself? Be good to yourself! Who will take care of you if not yourself? It’s as if you are scratching the wound and sprinkling salt on it to make the pain worse.
“Yes, yesterday we were sitting with May and we came to the conclusion that he did it, because …”
“It seems to me that if I wrote now, he would …”
People are usually paid to write scripts, and women are really masters at it, and additionally – they do it for free. While in the case of the film, the script will be put into practice, the attempt to direct a real life rather misses the point. What is really worth doing is writing a new scenario for each subsequent day and trying to implement it in a life where a change has just occurred and it will be inevitable to get used to it.
Last sentence syndrome
Just to add that …
Or maybe I will just write that …
And I have to say this …
And that’s just yet to explain …
Vicious circle. There are no situations in the world where there is a final end and there is no more space to ask an additional question or to clarify something. If it seems to you that “this is absolutely the last thing you need to explain / add / subtract” then you are wrong. This technique will not get you to ZEN. Why? Because you write / call / communicate because you have certain expectations. What does it give you? Temporary relief? What are you waiting for later? What if you don’t get it? You probably want to share what just did to you. And so you become a vicious circle in yourself.
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