“I met a guy who doesn’t want a relationship and says he’s not ready. We act as if we were in this relationship, and yet it is a relationship without obligations. “Loose”, because that’s how we define it. I agreed to this term because I care and I think in my heart that he is simply afraid.
Do relationships without obligations exist? Can you create something like this? It has a chance to become a union? ”
You ask, so I answer.
It does not exist, and it cannot.
However, this particular topic could be closed with the above answer. Of course, I will not do it and I am in a hurry to answer the question: “Why?”
From the beginning
Let’s start with the definition of a relationship. Professional, because it is taken from the dictionary, and in addition the Polish language available to everyone at sjp.pwn.pl.
1. “the relationship between things, phenomena, etc. connected in some way with each other”
2. “human relationships based on affection, kinship, etc.”
3. “contact with someone or something”
4. “an organization of people with common goals”
5. “life together and relationships between a married couple or a partner”
And here we see that even if not intercourse, there is some connection – based if not on goals, then on feelings. By definition, common goals and feelings for two people are most appropriate. At this point, I would really like to get to know a person who has a common goal with another person, or they have any relationship (in this case, probably also sexual), who thinks that you can have it without obligations.
I’m looking for someone like that
You probably won’t find one, although from my perspective it would be extremely interesting to meet someone who did. It would be someone who has done the impossible, i.e. eats a cookie and has a cookie! His kingdom for it, as well as admiration, interviews and praise.
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Sex is a serious matter after all
If you have sex that is NEVER risk-free (pregnancy, disease, abuse) then you have no obligations to yourself? Are you not obligated to protect yourself if you do not want a child or friends in the form of bacterial sticks? Also, are you not obligated to respect your borders?
And if you spend time with each other and become attached to each other, are you not obliged to take any care of the emotions and feelings of another person?
If you decide on something, are you not obliged to implement these resolutions with someone?
I suppose you are.
Sure thing ? Do you need more ?
If it is already clear that you cannot create a relationship where there is no commitment, it would be worth asking why people believe it can work. Most often it looks like a woman or a man announces that they do not want a “real” relationship and all they have to offer is a “loose relationship” (read: no obligation). It means exactly that they want to take from this relationship exactly as much as they decide and only what they need, which is what is good for them.
Basically you could say that in a “real relationship” we want the same. There is a difference, however: responsibility and consequences. In this “real” one, we take responsibility for our actions and we know that we have some rules that we set together and that we should stick to them, because otherwise we face consequences. Importantly – we want it and we agree to it, we put work into it, even though it can be difficult. Loose relationships are simply taking without paying, that is, using yourself. Even if the two sides decide to use each other, they would have to be extremely synchronized so as not to feel that something inconsistent with their expectations is happening in this use.
Ha! How do you do it, man?
Expectations are also an important issue. Someone will say, “I have no expectations.” If you date someone, you expect them to come. If you sleep together, you expect him to sleep with you the way you want him to. There is no lack of expectations, and trying to convince yourself that you don’t have them … still remains an attempt to convince, because I dare say that you will find out sooner that you do.
You’ll get a button
Sometimes it happens that someone comes into our life and says straight off the bridge that he will not give us what we would like. That’s okay, because he’s very likely to be completely honest about it. When he informs him that he has been hurt and that huge splinter deep in his heart prevents him from trusting any woman – he probably also tells the truth. The point is that you are not here to heal him and prove that his life can be good, and he probably has infinite layers of love in him.
How beautiful that button!
Sad as it is, many women take up the challenge instead of giving up immediately. “But I like it!” I do believe. He’s probably not the first person in your life that you’ve liked, but it’s likely that he’s the first one who half rejects you and half wants you. Do you believe that your commitment and love will make it change? Do you think that thanks to you he will decide to be responsible and enter into a relationship by declaring himself only to one woman? Do you think that your efforts will be appreciated and one fine day (hopefully sooner than later!) Will confess you love and gratitude? No, rather not.
Women are cheats
Women say that men cheat, while they are the ones who cheat themselves best. They don’t listen to the truth someone puts under their noses. He is an adult man who knows what he wants – do not try to change him and lead him by the hand. What you have a chance to hear in such an arrangement is at the end: “But I said that I do not want obligations, so what do you mean? Why are you crying again? ”
Questions you need to ask yourself
Before that, answer a few questions:
What do you want?
Are your expectations the same?
What was offered to you?
Why do you put up with it?
What could be the consequences?
Are you ready to take on these consequences?
How do you feel with it?
Is it good for you?
Is it good for you?
Do you deserve it?
Before you answer them, put your euphoria and willingness to meet the challenge on the shelf aside. Sometimes common sense is your best advisor. I believe love is about losing your head without losing your mind.
READ THIS ARTICLE To find out more!