When the relationship breaks down: disturbing signals – part 2

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Love blindness can be terribly harmful, so it is really worth looking carefully at the man in whom we invest our time and emotions. Many women declare that they know perfectly well what to expect from a relationship, and then agree to get only a meager scrap. Note that some of the behaviors featured in each section of this post are also a list of traits for most toxic guys. So let’s answer the question when the relationship breaks down.

He’s not caring

Caring isn’t holding hands all the time and writing to yourself all day. Caring is nothing but concern. If you are lying sick in bed, or you bring the chair by itself almost calling the ambulance on every second floor, because it is “busy”, there are two options: either you do not want help and care (then you can blame yourself) or you have vision problems and you do not see that someone does not care about you.

He drives you into complexes

First, a bit about projection. It is a psychological mechanism by which our thoughts about ourselves can be found in others. This is one of the functions of the projection mechanism. If you think you are fat and he accidentally jokes about the fold in your belly – suddenly your thoughts become his. “He said I should lose weight, that I’m ugly, fat and not moving at all” – it’s yours, not his. Then you can say that you don’t like having someone make fun of your belly, that’s it. But if you hear that you could be different – smarter, better, taller, thinner… act different, speak differently? The solution is one – changing your partner, you will never please him anyway, and what you have the chance to do is to be a very unhappy woman. Watch out!

Has trouble with memory

He does not remember what he promised you, declared and told you. “We had an appointment today?” He doesn’t pay attention to the things that are important to you. In a hot season, when he doesn’t know what to focus on – it can happen, you know – as we all do. However, if this is the norm, what are you doing there?

Also read the article: When does a relationship break up? How to recognize it?

He uses violence

It seems obvious that no woman will voluntarily agree to be with a violent man. It turns out, however, that each of us interprets different behaviors differently. Because… if someone bites you in anger, is it violence or not? And the fact that, once again unable to cope with his emotions, he will squeeze his wrists a little too tightly? What about situations when he leaves a restaurant once in the history of your acquaintance, leaving you alone at the table because your tone of voice did not suit him? Is the fact that he called you some vulgar term a few times also violence?

YES, it is all a symptom of a propensity to use violence. You can work on it if you want to. There is a very fine line between the person noticing disturbing behavior and the victim. Be careful, because before you know it, you will be on the other side. Nobody has the right to hurt you in any way! No matter what an educated, affectionate and loving partner he is “on a daily basis” – by the way, it is excluded.

The same is true for alcohol, drugs and other drugs / addictions.

Sex is his currency

You will miss the punishment for sex, sex will be nicer than normal. Sex is to serve him, because “a man deserves good sex, and good sex is one in which she tries to make him feel good”. This medieval way of thinking seems to have changed, and yet it is not. Sex should be good for both sides – everyone should enjoy it as much as possible. Nobody should exceed your limits in order to achieve any satisfaction at your expense.

You don’t enjoy it

Providing pleasure does not require a financial investment, even someone penniless can make you feel special. This requires mindfulness and willingness.

He is stingy

This is probably one of the features that are at the forefront of the undesirable. However, generosity is not to waste money, but to be able to share. If, in his opinion, it is only his – what if one day your leg develops? Then your problem will also be just your problem. It is extremely difficult to exterminate greed, so before you start trying – make sure it’s worth it.

Always someone’s opinion is more important than yours

“According to my sister”, “according to my mother”, “according to Kazio” etc. (Valuable) The ability to ask for advice is one thing, but relying only on someone else’s opinions is a completely different matter. If the decision affects both of you – you should be asked for your opinion in the first place. Are you going on vacation and he asks the couple you wanted to go with for your preferred destination first? Believe me, you will not feel well when his sister chooses the name for your child.

He thinks you are too smart for him

If he says so, then it most likely is. Most likely, it also bothers him. If you are willing to sacrifice yourself and pretend to be stupider than you are – chances are, otherwise your road together will be very bumpy and your self-esteem will be more and more shaken every day.

 

READ THIS ARTICLE To find out more!

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