More than one woman has probably had the dubious pleasure of discovering that men can disappear. They disappear without a word or after a short introduction. However, it does not change the fact that their volatilization is not the most pleasant experience. How is it? First they date each other. He often promises willow pears. Everything is going well and suddenly… bang! I do not know personally a woman who experienced this day. Most of them then ask themselves one characteristic question, for which I would like to punish the braids, namely: “Is there something wrong with me ?!”. So why does the guy disappear?
I feel inner anger when I hear women getting nervous. And how much energy they spend on people who just don’t deserve it. On the other hand, I realize that when we let someone into our life, we give them more or less trust, we open up and start to believe that “normal men still exist”, it turns out that we were wrong. Yes, I strongly believe that these kinds of experiences are terribly negative for your well-being.
You can torment yourself in search of an answer to the question: “why?”. You won’t get the same answer anyway, so I strongly advise against going this way. What “appears” to you will probably be completely different from reality. Because the only person who knows the answer to the above question is the person after whom the trace was lost.
You can pretend that nothing big happened and walk vigorously. Except that the word “pretend” is crucial here. It assumes pretending that emotions are absent, but they do exist. It’s restrictive and consumes too much current.
The third one is for free
So I am throwing in for free the third solution, the most rational from my point of view. You can clarify this by asking him a simple question: “has something changed?” If you notice changes in behavior, because the contact is supposed to be there, but completely different. It is even holy truth that whoever asks does not err. At this point, I imagine the grimace on the hundreds of faces that have reached this point! “But how?! I have to ask him for explanations ?! It’s clear that something has changed! ”
Okay, if it’s clear that something has changed and that’s it, why do you keep bothering yourself with it looking for the reason in yourself? If it were that simple, you probably wouldn’t bother with this topic. I know asking questions is absolutely inconvenient. It involves the risk of receiving a response that is not satisfactory for us. But this is life and you have to accept some inconveniences. Look at them and decide if they will be a stone that we will carry in our backpack for a long time … Or we will simply drop them on the side of the road and it is easier for us to lack the company of an unworthy companion and harmful thoughts … we will go ahead.
I’m not saying that this man is worth nothing – after all, you decided to go out with him for some reason. I am merely saying that if someone does not feel that the other party deserves any explanation and information that your relationship is ending, it does not deserve attention, emotions and, above all, time. One of the reasons why men do this is the pre-installed system of escaping from what is uncomfortable for them, i.e. your emotions. After all, “everyone knows” that men do not talk about emotions. That they do not like them at all, and therefore they are allowed to run away from what women do not even want to run away from. There is nothing more inconvenient than confronting the other side’s feelings with which you don’t know what to do, so why take it upon yourself?
It’s a waste of time
Back to the question, if you decide to take the lead and clear up the situation, it doesn’t mean you are desperate, or that you will lose face. I recommend it to you especially if you spend long hours wondering what was the reason for this and no other development of the case. Perhaps, however, asking a question will turn out to be beyond your strength – then what?
You can continue to waste time on someone who won’t matter in a moment. You can be negative against all other men. Because “they are all the same.” In the long run, it will take away your right to enjoy building relationships. And believe me, it can be valuable (only requires the right person). Or you can give up your masochistic impulses and say to yourself, “I don’t take responsibility for how someone behaved to me” and stop blaming yourself by looking for the reason in yourself. Letting go is freeing, it allows us to take another step forward. Not taking responsibility either – you are not responsible for the behavior and decisions of other people. It is their choice that you have been a part of and you experience its consequences. But don’t blame yourself.
It’s a waste of electricity
Everyone deserves respect and the right to be aware of the changes taking place. If someone is not able to respect your right – there is no point in wasting energy on them, and above all, you should not stubbornly try to blame yourself. I can assure you that if the fault really was on your side, you would know it perfectly well. Then it is a completely different question – the question of how the conflict is resolved.
Weird is teeeen wiaaaat
If someone disappears without saying a word, you probably feel sorry, angry, resentful and disappointed. It is completely understandable to me. What I wholeheartedly encourage you to do is take care of yourself and please yourself. By caring for yourself, you show yourself that you are worth taking care of you – remember that the world treats us the way we treat ourselves. It’s the kind of information we send out into space. Also, remember that it is only natural for people to come into our lives who should not be there. The most important thing is what you stay with. You have yourself that you should definitely love and care for, and people you can rely on. People who don’t fail. This is the most important. There will be time for everything else, believe me – no matter that you have to wait. It is worth waiting longer for quality.
I also encourage you to read the post, from which you will find out why men suddenly fall silent and their trace disappears. You can read it HERE.
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